Are you ready to connect?
We are FLC students working to use political psychology to have better conversations about things that matter.
As students in political psychology we have been studying how to have tough conversations about divisive topics all semester. We have found that a few conversation agreements, or norms, can make tough conversations surprisingly easy:
If you would like to learn more about having a good conversation, please check out the information we have put together for you below. We also recommend this brief Braver Angels Bridging the Divide Course.
- Alonzo, Ayden, Shawna, Iyahna, Gabriella, Gillian, Ben, Rashawna, Connor, and Aria.
As students in political psychology we have been studying how to have tough conversations about divisive topics all semester. We have found that a few conversation agreements, or norms, can make tough conversations surprisingly easy:
- Listen with the goal to learn and understand rather than to respond or "win."
- Pay close attention to the person who is speaking.
- Be mindful of body language, avoiding eye rolls, head shakes, scoffs, etc.
- We encourage everyone to let their voice be heard. If you have already spoken a lot, let others share their perspectives. If you haven't spoken much, please do because your perspective matters.
If you would like to learn more about having a good conversation, please check out the information we have put together for you below. We also recommend this brief Braver Angels Bridging the Divide Course.
- Alonzo, Ayden, Shawna, Iyahna, Gabriella, Gillian, Ben, Rashawna, Connor, and Aria.
Here to listen, here to learn
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Have you ever left a conversation feeling energized, empowered, and connected? Have you ever left a conversation feeling belittled, alienated, and exhausted? What was the difference between these experiences?
We think that real, authentic listening makes all the difference. In our world of social media and sound bites, listening is a lost art. During our own tough conversations we were surprised to learn just how much the simple act of listening made a difference, so we wanted to offer you some easy tips and tricks for connecting by listening to understand rather than to respond or "win." We hope this helps! - Ty, Jayme, and Marisa |
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Recommended conversation practices
In reflecting upon our own tough conversations and listening to the experiences of our colleagues, we found the tips below to be critical to connecting. We hope this helps!
- Kaylin, Jackson, and Iva.
- Kaylin, Jackson, and Iva.
Are you willing to be disturbed?
Housing is a wicked problem that no one individual, group, or ideology can solve alone. Addressing the problems we face requires brave people to come together to have difficult conversations and be willing to be disturbed and challenged in the process. Check out our podcast above on being willing to be disturbed. For more, we recommend reading the original "Willing to be disturbed" article by Margaret Wheatley.
- Cierra, Kate, and Kyra
- Cierra, Kate, and Kyra
Understanding cognitive dissonance
Priscilla Moreno and Elyza Zuni
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The backfire effect is one of the ways in which our brain goes on the defense to protect our core beliefs. But why is it so difficult to be disturbed? The concept called cognitive dissonance could explain why it is so hard. Cognitive dissonance occurs when two cognitions, or a cognition and an action contradict one another and causes us to feel discomfort; to ease the
discomfort, we rationalize and self -justify our actions to align with our beliefs. For a brief overview of the concept check out this video by the McCombs School of Business: |
Below is a comic by Elyza Zuni with two conflicting ideas:
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When you feel discomfort, acknowledge it and try to recognize the two beliefs that are
causing your discomfort. Accept the discomfort, be willing to be disturbed, and perhaps change
for the better. As the social psychologist Dr. Carol Tavris states “The goal is to hold those beliefs
lightly enough, so if evidence comes along showing that we are wrong, we can let it go.”
For a deeper dive into cognitive dissonance check out Dr. Carol Tavris’ lecture which connects
the concept to real world applications.
causing your discomfort. Accept the discomfort, be willing to be disturbed, and perhaps change
for the better. As the social psychologist Dr. Carol Tavris states “The goal is to hold those beliefs
lightly enough, so if evidence comes along showing that we are wrong, we can let it go.”
For a deeper dive into cognitive dissonance check out Dr. Carol Tavris’ lecture which connects
the concept to real world applications.
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Resonate with moral reframing Moral foundations are the key considerations for determining a person’s view of the world. Each person’s morals vary greatly, but none are better or worse and more right or wrong. However, we tend to let our morals “bind and blind” us in politics and social settings. While moral foundations “bind” us to our in-group, they also “blind” us, creating conflict with out-groups who solve moral problems differently. In order to deal with this conflict created by our varying morals, we must highlight our similar identities to find commonalities in our morals which don’t vary as much as we think. This process can be done through moral reframing, a necessary tool for productive contentious conversation. Reframing is to rework an idea to fit in with the morals of a person with opposing views so that they see the issue from a new perspective that appeals to their morals, and maybe (likely) not yours. We hope our infographic and the video below by researcher Robb Willer help you resonate better with moral reframing!
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Navigate conflict better by understanding emotions like anger and contempt.
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Sometimes negative emotions are an important way to push a discussion forward, especially given some of the urgent problems we face. However, the way we express these negative emotions makes the critical difference between solving problems together or blowing up our conversation. Take a listen to these resources on the most critical distinction between anger and contempt.
- Grey |
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Remembering the importance of mental health
By Isabella Cloud and Brooke Covington
Having difficult conversations can present its own challenges for mental health. Many college students struggle with their mental health. What a lot of students don’t realize is that they aren’t alone. We want students to understand how important their mental health is. Stress is a normal part of life and we want students to know how to cope with stress in a healthy way.
If difficult issues arise during your conversation, or if you're struggling with your mental health in general, here are some local resources that can help.
Below is a useful overview of mental health and self care tips put together by the University of California Berkeley University Health Services:
If difficult issues arise during your conversation, or if you're struggling with your mental health in general, here are some local resources that can help.
- The FLC Counselling Center is available for FLC community members, and students enrolled in at least 8 credit hours get an intake session and four counseling sessions free.
- Axis Health System provides mental health care for all community members, and you can contact their crisis hotline 24-7 at 970.247.5245.
Below is a useful overview of mental health and self care tips put together by the University of California Berkeley University Health Services:
